Holy Matrimony!
by Ryuko-chan
Summary: The many humorous weddings of Ranma. An early unfinished series. Quite honestly, not too good. But It's funny, and that's all that matters. Suggestions for future fics welcome.
1. Ranma and Akane

Holy Matrimony!  
  
Ranma-Akane  
  
"Oh, my little girl!" Soun shouted, leaning on Genma for support and waving a handkerchief around. The dojo was decorated in white and blue, frantic motion softly breezing the streamers. It was a special day. Ranma sat in his room, adjusting his dress uniform.  
  
"Who would have ever thought this day would come?" Ryoga asked rhetorically. Ranma smiled, adjusting his tie. Kuno came in, leaning on the door.  
  
"Sad mocking, Ranma Saotome, making us two your groomsmen. Who was the other?" he asked. Ranma stood.  
  
"His name is Mousse. I asked him because he's the husband of one of the bridesmaids." He said. He turned to them, "I'm sincerely glad you both could come," he said with a crooked smile. Ryoga scoffed.  
  
"Please!" he shouted, "You only wanted to rub our noses in it, you got her, we didn't, so sue us!" He shouted. Kuno nodded. Ranma smiled again.  
  
"And that is a problem, why?" he asked. Before the others could answer his question, he ducked out the door. He strode to the room designated Akane's dressing room. Nabiki and Ukyo stood in front of the door.  
  
"You can't go in there, Ranma-baby, it's against tradition." Nabiki said. Ukyo nodded.  
  
"Yeah, Ran-chan, That's the rule." She said. Ranma shrugged and walked away. Akane was in the room, struggling with her dress.  
  
"Oh, why couldn't Ranma have let Kasumi fit this to me!" She asked. Shampoo shrugged, trying to make the dress work.  
  
"I not know, some plan he have with her." She said. Akane shrugged.  
  
"This will have to do." She said. Shampoo smiled.  
  
"It look beautiful," she said. Akane looked in the mirror. It was a little too loose, especially in the bust. She growled.  
  
"He wants even to mess up our wedding!" she shouted. Shampoo smiled.  
  
"Somehow, I jealous that you get Ranma." She said. Akane shot her a disbelieving look.  
  
"I can't believe that." She said. Shampoo smiled.  
  
"I not in control of that," She said, "I have married him if Mousse not beat Ranma in battle before I get him to consent." Akane looked surprised.  
  
"You didn't want to marry him?" she asked.  
  
"No, no that not it, I just want marry Ranma more. He love you, Mousse I love now." Akane smiled.  
  
"He picked all his groomsmen to torture them, and I seem to have done the same." She said. Shampoo smiled, then made a face.  
  
"At least you not pick Kodachi Kuno, that complete the circle." She said, Akane laughed.  
  
"I couldn't have, anyway. She's out for blood now that she found out he's marrying me. We didn't even invite her." She finished. Just then, Ranma burst into the room, from a hidden doorway. He smiled garishly.  
  
"That doesn't fit you very well, does it? Well, we'll fix that." He said.  
  
The music started in the dojo. Everyone was there, including the little monkey ninja, that grandma whose always pouring water on Ranma, The principal, Akane's school friends, looking miffed at not being bridesmaids, Cologne and Happosai, sitting uncomfortably close to each other, and Genma and Soun, sitting next to each other, crying. Ranma's mother rolled her eyes at them. Ranma took his place at the front of the room. The bridesmaids filed in, looking as if they couldn't keep from laughing. Then, the bride. Oh, she looked radiant in her wedding dress, which now fit perfectly, her eyes sparkling, her flaming red hair beautiful. Red! The crowd shouted.  
  
"Pigtailed girl!" Kuno said. Ryoga noticed that he was close to running for her. He grabbed him by the sleeve and whispered into his ear. Kuno's eyes widened, and, finally believing the truth, he fainted in shock.  
  
"We didn't even have to hit him this time," Nabiki whispered to the groom. Akane looked up.  
  
"Dang," She said, fingering her random mallet. Ranma marched up to the altar, and the priest, fumbling a little with the book. He turned to the 'groom' and said,  
  
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man," he stopped, confused, though the situation had been explained to him, "Uh, and this woman, in holy matrimony." He scratched his head, flipping through the book, "Do you, uh, Ranma Saotome, take this, um, Akane to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Ranma nodded.  
  
"I do," he said. Akane giggled.  
  
"And do you, Akane Tendo, take this, er, man, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Akane smiled.  
  
"I do." She said.  
  
"Is there any here today who opposes this union?" the priest said. As he said that dreaded sentence, a whirlwind of black rose petals flew from the open window.  
  
"I do!" a voice sounded from high in the rafters of the school. Kodachi Kuno, the black rose flew and flipped down from the ceiling, waving her ribbon whip over the guests heads. She laughed loudly, causing everyone in the room to hold their ears. Suddenly, she stopped, looking at the pair at the altar. She blushed.  
  
"Uh, I guess I have the wrong day," she said, "Sorry." She leapt back up out of the window, leaving the wedding to go on.  
  
"I now pronounce you, husband and wife!" The priest said. Everyone was crying, most especially the bridesmaids and groomsmen.  
  
After the goodbyes, they retired to the Neko Hanten, thanks to Shampoo and Cologne. Kuno and Ryoga sat alone at a table.  
  
"Do you get the feeling that we've both been screwed over?" Ryoga said.  
  
"Ah, fair Akane, lost to me forever," Kuno lamented. No really, he lamented, it's his prerequisite, "And fair pigtail girl...well, let's not dwell on that." Ryoga noticed Ukyo standing, her mouth outlined with white, watching the happy couple, now boy and girl, dancing. Akane was wearing her best dress, and Ranma was wearing his best suit. He walked over to Ukyo.  
  
"Hey, Ukyo." He said, "Make any okonomiyaki?" Ukyo shrugged, beautiful in her dark blue bridesmaid's dress.  
  
"No, Kasumi made all the food." She said. Ryoga leaned over next to her, watching the two dance.  
  
"Look at the happy couple." He remarked mildly. It still hurt him to see Akane's eyes shine when she looked at Ranma, but it was a dull hurt, like a healing bruise.  
  
"I'll never find the right guy.." Ukyo said softly. Ryoga drew her chin up with his finger, looking into her eyes.  
  
"Don't say that, Spatula-ko." He said, kissing her softly on the mouth, "Would you like to dance?" he asked, sweeping her out on to the floor. She smiled, happily taking any opportunity to forget her pain. And forget she did.  
  
Kuno glanced at his former groomsman in crime. He sighed.  
  
"Now I am left alone with my pain. No man will stay with the dispositioned Kuno. Blue Lightning, where have you left yourself now?" he asked himself. He felt a tap on his shoulder.  
  
"Hey Kuno-baby, want to dance?" Nabiki asked. Kuno looked up.  
  
"Akane's sister?" he said. Nabiki looked at him mildly.  
  
"Kodachi's brother?" she said.  
  
"Point taken, fair Nabiki, we shall go." He held out his arm for her to grab, and she took it, walking to the floor with him.  
  
Mousse and Shampoo stood near the wall, resting in each other's arms. Shampoo glanced wistfully out on to the dance floor, at Akane and Ranma. Mousse noticed.  
  
"You want to be her, don't you?" he said. She looked up at him.  
  
"Maybe little bit." She sighed. She kissed him on the cheek, "Much less than I want be me. Very fortunate, this is, for am me." Mousse smiled, tipping up his glasses. His beautiful eyes looked into hers. She tweaked his nose, "We need get you contacts," she said, kissing him. A slow song came on.  
  
"Would you like to dance?" he asked her. She nodded. He led her out on the floor.  
  
Kasumi sat near her father, patting him patiently on the back. He was still crying. Just then, Ranma got on the DJ's microphone.  
  
"We're just about to throw the bouquet, so all you eligible ladies better come out!" he shouted. Kasumi smiled. She got up, just for the tradition, and went to the group of screaming women. Akane stood in front of them, and threw.  
  
It flew over the crowd, first Ukyo caught it, but then the group tackled her, and she let go of it. It flew over the crowd of screaming women, and landed right in Kasumi's arms.  
  
"Oh!" she said. She looked at the mass of women on the ground, fighting, and walked sedately back to her father. She glanced at the wall of the Restaurant, and saw the dark-clad Dr. Tofu. He giggled, a bit maniacally, and she waved. The girls were still fighting.  
  
"Looks like Kasumi got it!" Ranma shouted. The girls all looked at her. She smiled and waved.  
  
After no time, it was time to open gifts. Ranma opened the first.  
  
"Huh, matching his and hers bras, thanks, Ryoga." Akane opened the next.  
  
"A toaster!" Akane said.  
  
"Yeah, thanks um, old woman who always throws water on me." Ranma said. He opened the next.  
  
"Oh, hey a new dress!" the rest looked at him, "I mean, what a great gift for Akane." He added. Akane opened the next,  
  
"Oh, look, a teapot, self heating!" She said. Ranma smiled.  
  
"There's always a shortage of them, ne? Thanks dad!" The next was marked, from Kuno. Ranma scratched his head. Kuno stopped him.  
  
"I didn't bring that," he said. Ranma threw it out the window. An explosion blew the curtains out a little.  
  
"Thank you, Kodachi." Ranma whispered under his breath. The rest of the presents were uneventful. Then it was time for the last dance.  
  
"I love you, Akane." Ranma said. Akane chuckled.  
  
"And, despite the mess you made of my wedding, I love you too." She said. The buckets filled with confetti above them started to fall. Except they weren't filled with confetti.  
  
"Ahhhh!" Ranma-chan yelled. The floor was soaking and now, instead of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, there was a cat dancing with a duck, a pig in Ukyo's arms, and a soaked and pissy looking Nabiki and Kuno. Genma was already a panda, having had punch spilled on him earlier. Ranma's eyes shot to the rope-puller.  
  
"DAAHHH! I knew we shouldn't have invited that old grandma!!" he said. Akane giggled, and took out the new teapot, pouring it on him.  
  
"Just my payback," she said, kissing him hotly on the lips. He didn't seem to mind at all. 


	2. Mousse and Shampoo

Holy Matrimony!  
  
Mousse-Shampoo  
  
Genma watched in mild humor as the bespectacled boy accosted his son.  
  
"You don't even love her! Why won't you just let me beat you?" Mousse said. Ranma gave short bark of a laugh.  
  
"Let you beat me? HA! Look, for one thing, I won't ever LET myself be beaten. For another thing, don't you think it would be some kinda point of honor for her if you beat me for real?" Ranma said. Mousse thought that over.  
  
"I can't play for free, but I can play dirty.." He said to himself, formulating  
  
a plan.  
  
"All right, Ranma Saotome, I challenge you, two weeks from today! Believe me, I will win!" he said, pushing up his glasses. Ranma laughed.  
  
"Sure you will," he said, flicking Mousse's lenses. Mousse growled as Ranma walked away. He adjusted his all-encompassing robes, flicking a knife from one of the pockets.  
  
"This bout will be mine, Ranma Saotome, or I shall never fight again," He thought to himself, flicking the blade back into his robes, purposefully taking a nick of flesh with it.  
  
Two weeks later, on the betting grounds,  
  
"Five to one, says it's Ranma." Happosai said. Nabiki nodded.  
  
"Too true, but.." she trailed off.  
  
"But what?" Soun asked.  
  
"But if we bet on Mousse. And he makes it. That's one less fiancee to worry about." She finished. The two Tendos nodded. The battle was about to start.  
  
"I will take that bet!" Happosai called out. Mousse flicked a glance that way, but shrugged it off. He stood in a ready stance. Shampoo was between the two of them, looking demure.  
  
"Rose of the noble..." She trailed off as the rest looked at her. She grinned a neko smile (appropriate) and said, "oops, wrong show! All right, two suitors fight!" she yelled, sweeping back. Nabiki and Soun looked up.  
  
"GO MOUSSE!" they shouted. Mousse looked at them incredulously, nearly getting his by a flying Ranma. Akane and Ukyo sat in the stands, near Shampoo.  
  
"Who do you think will win?" Akane asked Ukyo.  
  
"I don't know." Ukyo admitted, "Ranma usually does, but there's something about Mousse today," Akane nodded.  
  
"It's almost like he's battling for his life." She remarked. Shampoo looked back at them.  
  
"I hoping Ranma win!" she said, training on them her bright smile. Akane and Ukyo nodded.  
  
"WE KNOW!" they said in unison. It seemed that end was coming. Ranma had gotten a few good hits off in the very beginning, and, despite his gumption, Mousse was failing. He pulled out a sword. Ranma dodged, pulling up and under the sword to hit Mousse in the jaw with a jab. Mousse went down, hard.  
  
"Looks like it's over!" Akane said, disappointed and a bit disgusted.  
  
"Oh, my god!" Ukyo shouted. Mousse was getting up! Shampoo stood, hand to her mouth. He stood, leaning on his sword for support. Then he dropped it, getting into a stance.  
  
"I won't let you win that easily!" he shouted, somehow energized. Shampoo sat back down, reluctantly. Ranma rolled his eyes and kicked. Mousse went down again, but just as quickly got back up.  
  
"You just won't give up!" Ranma shouted. Mousse nodded.  
  
"I need this win, now!" he said, right before impacting the dust again. Before he got up, he swung his legs in a roundhouse kick, felling Ranma. He jumped back, assessing the situation. Ranma got up.  
  
"That's it!" he yelled. He was about to do something very horrible to Mousse, when a bucket of water came flying at them. Mousse, being at least that sensible, jumped out of the way with no time to spare. Ranma however.  
  
"OHHH!!!! WHO DID THAT!!" he shouted. Or rather, she. Shampoo stood up, brow creased in a disapproving line, shaking her head.  
  
"No matter how mad Ranma get, he no kill! He no kill Mousse!" Shampoo said, dropping the bucket, "If Ranma want win this, he must win fair, or no win at all." She said, sitting back down. Ranma clenched his fists. Behind the stands, Ryoga appeared.  
  
"Where am I now?" he shouted. Then he looked around, "Hey, I made it!" he shouted incredulously. He jumped up to the top of the stands, "Aww, but it's already over," he said. Akane looked back.  
  
"Oh, no it's not.. For some reason, it's just beginning!" she said, grinning. Ryoga smiled at her, then turned his attention back to the battle at hand. Ranma was now Ranma-chan, but Mousse remained Mousse.  
  
"No difference!" Mousse called, "I can still battle you when you're a girl!" Ranma clenched his fists. Mousse came at him, swinging blades from his hands. Ranma easily dodged them, flipping over Mousse's head. He jumped with a flying kick at Mousse's side. Mousse went down. Then, he looked up.  
  
"Just get it over with," He said, staring at Shampoo, "If I can't beat you now, I know I never will, so just get it over with." Ranma raised his arms for the blow. Then he brought them down.  
  
"NO!!" shouted Shampoo, but the arms kept going. Then, instead of striking with those arms, Ranma caught Mousse by his arms, and helped him up.  
  
"That is something that doesn't need to happen." Ranma said. Mousse stared at him from cracked lenses.  
  
"What?" Mousse asked. Ranma nodded.  
  
"You win. I forfeit. If it's something that's that important to you, and I don't need to win, I must let it go, even if it's a disgrace to my talent." Ranma finished. Akane raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Perhaps there is a shred of human decency in him.." She said quietly. Shampoo sat in shock.  
  
"Ranma not love me." she said, even though she knew it all along. Mousse looked at her.  
  
"Mousse love me.. and now he betrothed to me." She thought, looking at him, "I get used to it. I must." She said to herself.  
  
Sometime within the next few years..  
  
"Ohh! I can't believe you're getting married!" Akane shouted.  
  
"I not believe either." Shampoo said honestly. She primped her wedding dress. Akane sighed.  
  
"I can't wait till I get married, and get to wear a beautiful dress and be special for a day." She said, sighing. But there would be no time for reflections, soon the ceremony had begun.  
  
"Dearly beloved.." The random priest said. Mousse just stared at Shampoo. He said I do.. at the appropriate times, but really all his mind was on was how beautiful she was that day, and how very much he loved her. She smiled.  
  
"I do," she said.  
  
"You may kiss the bride." The priest said. Mousse lifted the veil. Shampoo looked up at him, and all the love in his big brown eyes. And then she smiled, pulling him to her. They kissed, and everyone cheered, most especially Soun and Nabiki. They gave each other high fives, and watched Happosai pull out his wallet.  
  
"Kuso! I thought that she would kill him before it ever got to this.." He mumbled.  
  
Later. at the Neko Hanten.  
  
"I can't believe that it's finally got to this." Ranma said. Akane giggled.  
  
"You having second thoughts? It's a little late, my man.." she said. The newlywed couple was dancing on the floor, arm in arm, cheek to cheek. Body to body. Then they noticed that everyone was staring. They separated.  
  
"Cake," Kasumi called. They wheeled out the cake, a collaboration of Kasumi and Cologne.  
  
"Oh, wow, it's so beautiful it's almost a shame to eat-" Mousse started, but was interrupted by five hundred people, pushing for a place in line. Shampoo walked up to him, cake in hand. His eyes widened.  
  
"Oh, no!" he shouted, running. Eventually, she caught up with him, splattering the cake all over his face. He smeared some of the frosting onto her face when she kissed him.  
  
"Look, I saved the top!" Cologne said, handing them a smaller cake. On the top of the cake, where a lovely married couple would be, was a figurine of a duck and a cat. Shampoo giggled.  
  
"Perfect," she said, kissing Mousse once again. He glanced at it, and he couldn't help but agree. 


	3. Ryouga and Ukyo

Felt I had to have a prelude to this one. I just kindve assumed that all the people on the show would know Ryoga's little *secret* by the time this happened. I just want to tell you that I believe that this is the way it should go... Oh, and I was only really gonna write one, these stupid things have a way of continuing themselves. Anyway. If any of you take this fic without expressed written consent by me, I will hunt you down, dye your hair red, and throw you into a pit of rabid Kunos.  
  
Holy Matrimony!  
  
Ryoga-Ukyo  
  
"MARRIED?" Ukyo shouted, scooting back from the proffered ring. Ryoga smiled, baring his outsized canines.  
  
"Yeah, I suppose it would kinda follow the latest trend, ne?" He said. Ukyo grinned.  
  
"I suppose." she said, thinking of the two happy couples, Ranma and Akane and Mousse and Shampoo.  
  
"Don't think it's just because Akane is taken.." Ryoga said, looking a little worried, "I feel like all our work has really been building up to this," he finished. Ukyo looked at him.  
  
"Work?" she said, confused.  
  
"You know, trying to separate those two." He said.  
  
"Oh, yeah," she remembered, "But that was just us as a team, not anything big.." She protested.  
  
"I always felt like we were the only sane ones, I felt a camaraderie, I suppose. But then, in that cave.. (see Ranma ½, One Flew Over The Kuno's Nest) what they thought. and I realized, it was sort of true. Then at the wedding.." Ukyo nodded.  
  
"I felt so betrayed, but having you there helped, and, even though all our hard work had failed, it didn't really feel so bad, once I was in your arms." Ukyo said, the truth dawning on her.  
  
"So, you see, I feel like it isn't really a huge deal. See, it's kind of like we've been dating.. all those years.." Ryoga said, drifting off. Ukyo nodded.  
  
"I know what you mean," she said, tears in her eyes, "All right, let's do it!" she shouted, grinning. Then she paused, "You think we could elope?" Ryoga was taken aback.  
  
"Elope, but why?" he asked.  
  
"You saw what happened at the other two weddings. I just don't want all those people around.. They're kind of nuts." She said, shrugging. Ryoga nodded. From the bushes, a pair of beady eyes lurked.  
  
"Ha ha ha! I shall ruin their plan!" The little ninja said. He ran off, giggling.  
  
At the Tendo Dojo:  
  
"Ranma, oh master Ranma!" the ninja shouted.  
  
"What is it?" Ranma said, a little irked at being called 'master', even though he was a karate master.  
  
"Oh master Ranma, important news," The ninja proceeded to whisper the entire plot in Ranma's ear.  
  
"Oh, is he now?" Ranma said, a grin spreading across his face. Akane, across the table, looked at him funny.  
  
"What is it?" she asked. Ranma whispered it in her ear, as the ninja ran back to the Kuno mansion, fulfilling his evil deed of the day for Kodachi. Akane giggled.  
  
"Oh, I knew it all along!" She said. She ran outside, ready to tell Ukyo that she knew. Ranma paused for a moment, then got up, yelling,  
  
"Wait, not yet!"  
  
Meanwhile, back at the meeting place:  
  
"That would be perfect!" Ukyo shouted.  
  
"I know," Ryoga said, "I love orange and black for a wedding tux, too." Just then it started to rain, "Oh, crap, this alwa- squeel!" Ryoga said. He, now P-chan, jumped into Ukyo's arms. Just then again, Akane ran up.  
  
"Oh Ukyo! You found P-chan! But, where's Ryoga?" she said, grinning.  
  
"Ryo- But he's-" Ukyo started, but P-chan squealed for her to silence. Ranma-chan ran up behind Akane. Akane smiled at her.  
  
"And you thought that I was the slow one!" she said. Ranma-chan grinned, then kissed her, lingering for a few moments after the end to whisper in her ear,  
  
"Don't tell them yet, we want it to be a surprise!" Akane nodded, then whispered back,  
  
"I wasn't going to tell anyway, Ryoga isn't here!" Ranma-chan stepped back.  
  
"You mean you don't-" she asked. Akane gave her a look.  
  
"Don't what, Ranma Saotome?" she asked. Ranma-chan grinned, giving P- chan a look.  
  
"I'll tell you later, Mrs. Saotome," he said. Ukyo glared at him, suspicious, but then Akane smiled reassuringly.  
  
"So anyway Ukyo." she said, "I'll have to see you later, just bring P- chan back when you come home! Keep a good eye on him, he's always disappearing!" Ukyo laughed, and P-chan grunted. Akane grabbed Ranma-chan by the arm, and ran out, dragging him, er her, behind her. Ukyo smiled.  
  
"That was a close one!" she shouted, "Now let's get some hot water for you."  
  
At the Neko Hanten, which was now owned by Mousse and Shampoo, Ryoga and Ukyo discussed their plan, and other things.  
  
"So why do you think she hasn't figured out yet?" Ukyo asked. Shampoo walked up.  
  
"Figure out what? That Ryoga same animal as P-chan?" She said. Ryoga grunted, exactly like a pig.  
  
"And what was that supposed to mean?" he said, joking. Shampoo grinned, tossing her long purple hair. She sat down.  
  
"Shampoo thinking this," she started, "Akane accept what she see, when she see Ryoga, she not see P-chan. Who ever ask, why P-chan and Ryoga not ever in same room? Not Shampoo." Ukyo nodded. Ryoga nodded.  
  
"What I don't understand is why doesn't she think it's strange that Ryoga will fall in water and P-chan will come out, or when Ryoga gets doused with water, and P-chan is there?" Ryoga shrugged.  
  
"Akane just kind of accepts what she sees." Ryoga said. Mousse walked up, putting his arms around Shampoo from behind.  
  
"Besides, you guys are always jumping from one place to the next, and she might just assume that you jumped on top of some building or another." He said, smiling down at Shampoo. Ukyo put her hand on Ryoga's. He looked at her, eyes wide, then took it. Shampoo looked up at Mousse, then gestured towards the two at the table.  
  
"Shampoo think something is up," she said. Mousse smiled.  
  
"If it is, we'll hear about it soon enough." He said. The two at the table noticed the stares and parted, whistling innocently. Then they explained their plan.  
  
"So can you help us?" Ryoga asked.  
  
"Shampoo love to!" Shampoo said, grinning. Mousse nodded.  
  
"We could do it tonight!" he said.  
  
Middle of the night at the Tendo dojo.  
  
"OW!" Ryoga shouted.  
  
"Shh! Be quiet!" Ukyo warned.  
  
"I can't help it, that hurt!" Ryoga whimpered. Ukyo gave him a look he could see, even in the dark.  
  
"You would make less noise as P-chan, ne?" Ukyo asked.  
  
"I suppose, but that doesn't really have-" He was cut off as Ukyo sprayed him with water from the faucet. His protests were naught but an angry squeal.  
  
"Shh, you said you would make less noise!" she whispered. She carried him out into the night.  
  
At The Neko Hanten..  
  
"Ow, that's my arm!" Nabiki cried.  
  
"It is?" Happosai asked. He shifted.  
  
"YOU LECH!!!" Nabiki said, slapping him across the room. Akane sweatdropped.  
  
"Shhh!!" She hissed, "I hear something!" Genma, a panda as usual, held up a sign, reading 'Sounds vaguely familiar' Cologne, hiding near him, grabbed it.  
  
"Give me that!" she shouted, "Geez, do you need all those signs?" Genma held up one reading 'give me that back you withered up old woman!'  
  
"Do you have one of those for every occasion, you sweaty old panda?" Cologne asked. He held up another reading 'Well screw you too!' (anyone who doesn't watch newsradio, or who isn't friends with Kel, will not get this one) the door creaked open.  
  
"Hello?" Ukyo said, "Anyone here?" The lights flashed on.  
  
"SURPRISE!!!!" everyone called. Ukyo blinked. She dropped P-chan.  
  
"What? How did everyone get here? DID YOU TELL THEM??" she screamed at P-chan, readying to hit him with her spatula.  
  
"What? What in the world does that mean?? AND WHERE'S RYOGA?" Akane screeched, "You can't have a wedding without a groom!" she said. The entire room stared at her.  
  
"You mean you didn't know?" Soun asked.  
  
"KNOW WHAT??" she screamed. Nabiki hurried over to her, and whispered in her ear.  
  
"Oops, I was going to tell her," Ranma said. Akane stood in shock. Then she turned to Ranma, seething.  
  
"WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER TELL ME??????" she screeched. Ranma blanched. Well, someone is sleeping on the couch tonight. That's what Genma's next sign read. Ranma snatched it.  
  
"Rrrr.." He growled. The priest.. (yes the random one, the one who has been doing all these weddings, let's call him father Random)  
  
Father Random gave the group a look.  
  
"Shall we commence?" he asked. The rest smiled.  
  
"YES!!" Ukyo shouted, "Just give the groom a moment to get ready." She pushed P-chan into the kitchen, and shut the door. Akane was still glaring at Ranma, and the entire room was in a state of unrest.  
  
"Ok. I'm just gonna go get my dress on," Ukyo said, edging into another room.  
  
A few minutes later..  
  
"Dearly beloved." Father Random said. (just in case you didn't know, those are about the only words I know from the wedding ceremony) Ryoga and Ukyo's ceremony went off without a hitch. Until, the vows.  
  
"I do.." Ryoga said. The priest squinted at a wrinkly piece of paper in front of him.  
  
"It seems that Ryoga would like to read his own vows." he said. Ryoga stepped up.  
  
"Ukyo, will you take me, Ryoga, as your lawfully wedded husband, in pigness and in health, in poorness and in wealth, in lostness and in found, and just take me all around?" The last line seemed to imply something, but it rhymed, so the guests just took it as they wanted. Ukyo smiled.  
  
"I do," she said, smiling. The priest grinned.  
  
"You may kiss the bride," he said. Ryoga did.  
  
Later, with cake..  
  
"Wow, Ryoga, this sort of reminds me of Akane's wedding." Ukyo said.  
  
"Yeah, except less gender-bending." Ryoga said, smiling. Ukyo laughed.  
  
"Much less of that.." she said. She looked into Ryoga's eyes. Then, very softly, and very tentatively, she kissed him. Then she smiled.  
  
"What?" Ryoga said.  
  
"Just testing.." Ukyo replied, smiling.  
  
"Did I pass?" he asked. She smiled, leaning her head against his chest.  
  
"I think it'll work out just fine," she said. Ryoga smiled, he hoped so too.  
  
THE END 


	4. Nabiki and Kuno

Hello, all, yes it's that time again.. Just some advance info.. Kasumi is already married to Dr. Tofu, and, since I don't feel like writing them in, also, it's essential to the plot that Kasumi not be there, later, later, I have had them move away. *cry, cry* Anyway. If anyone deigns to steal this fic, their computer will be poisoned or put to sleep by my own personal Kodachi...  
  
Holy Matrimony!  
  
Kuno-Nabiki  
  
Nabiki sighed, chewing desolately on her special K.  
  
"Man, there hasn't been an ounce of decent food here since Kasumi left." She thought disgustedly. Of course, there was okonomiyaki, but one only had so much of that before they kacked. She watched the four newlyweds. well, less newly than just weds.  
  
"I need something like that to go for me. but I was always too busy making money for all that." She slumped, chin in hand. Of course, now she had Kuno, but that wasn't a big deal. He was too stupid to make any moves that didn't involve Shakespeare, and he was too smart to let her (which really doesn't say a whole lot) Just then, Kuno popped in with a bouquet.  
  
"Hello, my fair Nabiki!" he said brightly. It seemed that after Akane was taken, he decided to gravitate to Nabiki. Which wasn't such a bad deal for her, what with all the expensive gifts.  
  
"Good morning, Tatewaki," Ranma said. Kuno glanced at him warily.  
  
"I have come to see the fair Nabiki, and no one else must deign to grace my eye." He offered Nabiki the flowers, which she took, and then popped back out.  
  
"What does the card say, Nabiki?" Akane asked. Nabiki read it.  
  
"My dearest Nabiki, please come to a dinner at my mansion, tonight at six sharp." She said. She thought that over.  
  
"Are you going?" Akane said. Nabiki thought.  
  
"YES!" she shouted. The rest sweatdropped.  
  
"Why?" they all asked.  
  
"Finally, a decent meal!" Nabiki said, going to her room to find something to wear.  
  
Later that day, at the Kuno mansion.  
  
"Is everything ready?" Kuno asked his massive staff. The staff nodded profusely, "Was my twisted sister anywhere near the food?" he asked. The staff shook their heads, "Good." Kuno said. The doorbell rang. It was Nabiki, dressed in a long, flowing gown.  
  
"Hey Kuno-baby." She said. Kuno grinned.  
  
"Come in fair Nabiki," he said. At the top of a high stairway, Kodachi fumed.  
  
"First I lose my dear Ranma, and now this? My brother, betraying me by proposing to one of that dread Akane's sisters! I shall NEVER get over this!" Kodachi said, "Perhaps I can find a way to ruin it. yes.." She laughed then, a noise best not described, but I will tell you that all the dogs within a three mile radius started screaming in pain. I must also tell you that pigs have almost as good hearing as dogs.. So P-chan, hiding under the table, was having a hard time keeping from screaming. Then the laughing subsided, and he went back to listening in.  
  
".nice. Thanks for inviting me over, Kuno-baby." Nabiki was saying. Kuno grinned,  
  
"You haven't even had the dessert, fair Nabiki.. Francois!" Kuno shouted. A stuffy butler came in, carrying a huge platter.  
  
"What's this?" Nabiki asked. The top was taken off the platter, and on it was a tiny box. Kuno lifted the box off the platter and opened it. In it was a HUGE diamond, almost as big as Nabiki's thumbnail.  
  
"KUNO-BABY!" she shouted, eyes wide.  
  
"Nabiki Tendo, would you be my-" Kuno said, but just then (isn't it always) a swirl of black rose petals flew from the ceiling. Faster than a flash of lightning. Pause for effect Kodachi flipped by and snatched the ring out from Kuno's hands. She proceeded to throw it out the window, where a distant snap was heard as it was found by Mr. Green Turtle.  
  
"My ring..." Kuno said, shattered. Nabiki walked over and gazed mildly out the window. Then she walked over to Kuno. She smiled.  
  
"Yes." She said. Kuno looked at her, confused.  
  
"Yes. but the ring is-" Kuno said, pointing out the window with his bokken.  
  
"The ring is not important.." Nabiki said. Kuno smiled, and, gentleman as always, took Nabiki's hand in his own and kissed it.  
  
An indeterminate time later. (probably somewhere around a year)  
  
As always, the Tendo Dojo was filled with people. Again there were streamers and again there were guests. And again there was Father Random. And also again, Soun was crying.  
  
"MY LAST DAUGHTER!!!" he shrieked, tears pouring from his eyes. The door opened. Kasumi stepped in, alone, her husband had chosen to stay home and play with his skeleton. She walked over to Soun.  
  
"Father, what's the matter?" she asked.  
  
"I'M LOSING MY DAUGHTERS!!!!!" He shouted. Akane stepped over.  
  
"Don't think of it as losing a daughter, think of it as gaining a Kuno." She said. Soun thought about that for a moment, then burst into twice as fervent sobs. Ranma shrugged.  
  
"You gotta admit, it is kinda a tragedy." he said. Akane elbowed him in the ribs.  
  
"That's my sister's fiancee you're talking about!" She shouted. He moaned an apology. The guests sat down, and the wedding started. The groom's family's seats were occupied by the strangest bunch of people anyone had ever seen, and all with strange nicknames.. 'The green football', 'the fuchsia rocket booster', 'the light orange math book', 'the yellow rainbow' anyway.. it was a sight to see. Father Random shook his head at the collected group of crazies. He whispered to a groomsman.  
  
"Oh, that's just because he's crazy." Ryoga said, as an explanation of why the father of the groom had a palm tree growing out of his head. He shrugged.  
  
"All right, let's get this show on the road." The random pastor said. The bridesmaids and groomsmen lined up, they were, Akane, Kasumi, Ukyo, and Ranma, Genma, Ryoga, respectively. Kuno took his place at the front.  
  
"OHHH, MY BABY!!!!!" Soun was crying, as he led Nabiki up the aisle. Nabiki was stunning in a dress that had a slit cut up the side and a low cut neckline. She was patting her father on the shoulder.  
  
"Hey, uh, Tatewaki.." Ranma said. He had been wary around Kuno since his own wedding, when the entire truth had come out, "Why wasn't your sister a bridesmaid?" he asked. Kuno sighed.  
  
"My twisted sister refused to take any part in my own wedding. Truly a pity." He said, "She told me that she would not accept me taking a sister of Akane, who she never forgave for marrying you. Of course, I believe that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." He said, in total seriousness. Ranma sweatdropped. The ceremony went on as usual, until one very crucial part.  
  
"Whosoever wishes to protest this union, please say something now." Father Random said. A rain of black rose petals started from the ceiling.  
  
"I protest! AHAHAHAHAHHAAA!" shouted Kodachi. She flipped down her ribbon whip, as she stood on the chandelier, "My dear brother will not marry a sister of that filthy Akane Tendo, whose wiles and evil ways have turned my Ranma into a newlywed wimp!" At this, both Akane and Ranma growled.  
  
"Hey, that's total crap!" Ranma said.  
  
"Shall we teach this flipping crazy a lesson?" Akane asked Ranma, as she cracked her knuckles. They both jumped up to her, and Ranma flipped around, grabbing the ribbon whip by the opposite end, and giving it a good tug. It shot out of her hand, and she was caught off balance. She windmilled her arms trying to keep from falling. The little ninja gasped.  
  
"Miss! Miss! I'll save you!" he shouted, running beneath her.  
  
"AHHHH!!" she screamed, falling off the chandelier. She landed on the ninja with a plop. He groaned. Kodachi moaned, rubbing her head.  
  
"Ohh!" she groaned, "Where am I?" she said, looking around. Ukyo and Ryoga did some quick thinking.  
  
"You must have gotten here by mistake, um, you'd better go home." Ukyo mumbled, rushing her out.  
  
"Yeah, um, I think you may have gotten lost.." Ryoga said seriously. Ukyo gave him a look, then smacked him on the back of the head with a fan. He looked down.. They both rushed her out the door and waved.  
  
"Bye, now! Bye! Bye! See you later! Ja ne! Hasta la vista! Salut! Guten nacht! Bienvenido! Hasta la huego!" they both said, waving. Dazed, Kodachi waved back, walking out into the streets. The little ninja followed.  
  
"Wait Madam! Wait!" he shouted, waving. Ryoga and Ukyo gave each other high fives. Kuno, looking quite dashing in his black tux, sweatdropped.  
  
"Oh, my poor sister.." he mumbled. Nabiki latched onto his arm. He smiled confidently. The random Pastor sweatdropped.  
  
"Right, well, Um, Oh, yes, you may kiss the bride!" The pastor said. And he did.  
  
Later, at the party, hosted at Ucchan's,  
  
"YAY!!!" Soun was shouting. Nabiki's eyes widened.  
  
"What's the deal, daddy dearest?" she asked, questioningly. Soun smiled.  
  
"I just realized, all my daughters are married off!" he said happily. Nabiki raised an eyebrow. She took the cup out of her father's hand.  
  
"I think you may have had a bit too much sake, daddy." She mumbled. Kuno grinned.  
  
"Oh, my fair Nabiki, now that you are married to me, you won't have any need to sell pictures, or various other things for money! You will always have money, no matter what, and! You can buy more than two outfits, I'll help!" he shouted. Nabiki raised an eyebrow and thought at that one.  
  
"No more? More outfits?" she sighed.  
  
"But, Kuno-baby.." she said.  
  
"Yes?" he said.  
  
"If I still want to, can I?" she asked. Kuno sweatdropped.  
  
"Of course." He sighed. Kuno walked off to keep his family from destroying things with their various types of wooden swords, or knocking things over with their bonsai trees, or cracking the glass with their laughs. Akane walked over, looking a tad shattered.  
  
"I just realized something onee-chan." she said. Nabiki frowned.  
  
"What's that?" she asked.  
  
"Now, Kodachi is your sister-in-law." She said. Nabiki looked scared to death. Kuno came back. Nabiki looked up at him with wide, frightened eyes.  
  
"Kuno-baby." she said.  
  
"What?" he said.  
  
"Hold me!" she said in utter terror. He smiled and held her close.  
  
"Ah, it's wonderful to have a wife.." he thought, "It makes me feel.poetic.." He stood up straighter.  
  
"My fair Nabiki, none can compare, to the softness of your brown hair," he shouted. Ranma sweatdropped.  
  
"Oh, great, now that got him started." He mumbled.  
  
"At this rate, he'll never stop!" Ukyo said, shaking.  
  
"And your eyes, like to bright dots, of stars show that I love you lots.." he continued. Genma held up a sign reading,  
  
"Like to Dickinson, ne?"  
  
"Your lips like fire, your hands like ice, upon my skin, they feel so nice." He said. The entire room sweatdropped.  
  
"Really, Kuno, this is a little more than we need to know." Ryoga said.  
  
"And when you touch, your hand to me, I feel my eyes begin to see." He continued. Nabiki wasn't mortified, for some odd reason, "And though it lasts but a moment's lull, I know our love is eternal.." he finished. Nabiki smiled.  
  
"That'll be two hundred yen for that lovely poetry recital.." She said. The room gasped.  
  
"TWO HUNDRED YEN!" they shouted.  
  
"Ne, It's because it was impromptu, much harder." Nabiki said. The populace opened their wallets as they filed out the door. As they passed, they mumbled things like,  
  
"Highway Robbery.."  
  
"Why do I even come to these weddings?" and  
  
"God damn it, I was so sure she was a lesbian.." Kuno turned to Nabiki and smiled. They embraced, and it was all very touching. As they embraced, Nabiki whispered something. Kuno looked at her.  
  
"What was that, My fair Nabiki?" he said.  
  
"Nothing, Kuno-baby." She said, smiling. She kissed him softly on the forehead.  
  
LATER.. at home.  
  
"How did she manage to do that without me noticing?" Kuno asked. Nabiki smiled sweetly. And on Kuno's forehead, in red lipstick, read 'incompetent'  
  
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER 


	5. Alternates-Ryouga and Akane

Join us, will you for.. the most unlikely couples of Ranma ½. Well, not exactly.. you see, Shel convinced me (isn't it always her?) that I should write fics for all the combinations of the show, not just the ones I liked. And of course, Nikkia, my best friend, convinced me that Ryoga is one of the best characters on the show.. She has a thing for his fangs.. So anyway! Here is installment 1 of the alternate pairings of the Ranma characters. These will take place in the same universe, and have an entirely different story than the first. Pending, there is a third, the most unlikely pairings.  
  
Holy Matrimony!  
  
The alternate chapters  
  
Ryoga-Akane  
  
"P-chan!" Akane shouted, picking up the small black pig, "There you are! I've been looking all over for you, my little ham hock!" she said pressing in his small wet nose.  
  
"Akane." Ryoga thought desolately, "Is there nothing I can do to get you to notice me? Other than becoming a pig.." The small pig jumped out of her arms. He oinked.  
  
"P-chan." she said. P-chan ran into the kitchen, where Genma and Soun sat, drinking tea.  
  
"Akane, please rein in your pet!" Soun called. Ryoga slipped under the table, and through the door to the outside.  
  
"Ah! There you are!" Ranma said, grinning lopsidedly, "You are in for it Ryo-" he started, but paused as Akane walked in. He sneered at P-chan, glancing at Akane through half-lidded eyes.  
  
"Ranma! Leave P-chan alone!" she shouted.  
  
"Hey, Akane, I think P-CHAN needs a bath, don't you?" he said. Ryoga squealed in protest.  
  
"Hmm, now that you mention it, he is kind of dingy.." she said thoughtfully. She grabbed the small black pig again, this time taking a firm grasp on his bandanna. She brought it up to her eyes.  
  
"Hey, where did you get this, P-chan? It reminds me of someone, though I can't think of who.." She replaced it, walking to the baths.  
  
"Oh crap crap crap." Ryoga thought, "This is bad, this is really bad." He wiggled, trying to break free.  
  
"Oh, no you don't!" Akane said. Ryoga wiggled all the more frantically. Ranma was walking beside the windows, making faces at P-chan. Akane reached the baths, and ran a sickeningly warm bath for P-chan, who was trying to get away as she choked him with the bandanna.  
  
"You won't get away that easily.." she murmured. And as soon as the bath had finished running, she took off the bandanna and unceremoniously dumped him in the water. She bent over to get some soap. When she stood up, there before her eyes was a very wet, very warm, and very naked Ryoga. She backed against the wall.  
  
"Oh, my god!" she shouted. Ryoga held up his hands.  
  
"No no no. don't scream, please.." He looked down. Then he ducked down in the water.  
  
"You, you," she said, pointing an impotent finger at him, "Oh my god!" she shouted again, as it dawned on her.  
  
"I suppose, it's really my fault.." he mumbled, eyes down. He felt the tears well up in his eyes.  
  
"No! No! Only girls and weaklings were meant to cry.." he thought, wiping his eyes on his arm. Akane handed him a towel.  
  
"R-r-ryoga.." she mumbled, "Why did you?" she started.  
  
"I just. I never thought that you could look at me the same again after finding out I was P-chan." He murmured.  
  
"But why not just. Oh no, that wouldn't work." She said, bringing a hand to her mouth. Ryoga wrapped the towel around himself and silently trod to the door.  
  
"I'll just. get lost forever." He said. Akane held up a hand as he reached for the knob.  
  
"Don't." she said. He turned to her. She gave him a hurt look, "Ryoga, don't you think that I wouldn't care about that? You're my friend. As P-chan and as you. And Ryoga, I'm kind of hurt that you didn't think to tell me." She got up and walked to the window, "go now." She said softly. Ryoga silently pushed open the door. Ranma was standing outside. Rather than grinning, he looked a bit worried.  
  
"Gee, Ryoga, I thought you'd be able to wiggle free before that, I'm sorry." He said. Ryoga gave him an angry glare.  
  
"I'm leaving forever." He said. Ranma scratched his head.  
  
"Uh.." he said articulately. Ryoga got dressed and walked out the door. He walked the streets for a while, a bit aimlessly.  
  
"Geez, I wish I knew where the exit was to this town.." he thought halfheartedly. A door he had been in before beckoned, and he walked through the door to Ucchan's..  
  
"Hey Ryoga.." Ukyo said, waving a hand at him. He paid no attention to her. He sat down.  
  
"The very same chair, the very same place. I can almost see her there.. sure she was sweaty. But there was a break in communications. She was still lovely." He thought.  
  
"Ryoga!" Ukyo shouted, clapping her hands. He snapped back to reality.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"What's the matter?" she asked, leaning down on the counter.  
  
"Oh, nothing, just that my life is over, and any chances I ever had with Akane are gone forever." He said glumly.  
  
"Oh, come on, don't be so hard on yourself, nothing could ruin all your chances.." She said cheerily, "Unless." she looked at him. He nodded desolately. She growled, and hit him with a fan.  
  
"Ow!" he shouted.  
  
"You stupid jackass!! How could you let her find out?" She asked. He shrugged.  
  
"It wasn't my fault, it was Ranma." He said, "Something like 'hey doesn't P-chan need a bath?' and with those words my life is over." Ukyo patted him sympathetically on the shoulder. Then she looked up.  
  
"Well, I don't know if they're completely over." She murmured, getting down to his eyes level and pointed to the door. He glumly glanced over. Then he got up. Akane waved.  
  
"I thought I'd find you here.." she said softly. She offered a hand. In it was Ryoga's bandanna, "I thought you'd want this back.." she said, looking down. Ryoga took it shyly.  
  
"Thank you.." he said. Ukyo looked at him expectantly.  
  
"Well?" she said. Ryoga blushed.  
  
"Arigatou, Akane," he said, taking up his bundle, and starting to walk.  
  
"Ryoga, I just want to know one thing before you leave.." she said. Ryoga looked up, "When I P-chan looked at me with all that love in his eyes, that was really you, ne?" she said. Ryoga nodded shyly, "Well, then why didn't you tell me that you loved me?" she said. Ryoga stared at her.  
  
"I-I just, I mean.." Ryoga stuttered.  
  
"And, why didn't you tell me that you wanted to be engaged to me?" she said.  
  
"Well I." he said.  
  
"Is it the same reason you won't tell me that you want me to kiss you now?" she asked, walking up to him. He blushed, "Fine then, I will," She came up to him and kissed him, tenderly. He smiled.  
  
"Oh, Akane, I just.." she put her finger to his lips.  
  
"Quiet." She said. She walked with him out the door. Ukyo stared at them, smiling serenely.  
  
"Don't they make a cute couple?" She thought, "And now, perhaps, Ranchan will be free for me. That was the plan the entire time, wasn't it?" she thought. And yet, she couldn't help but feel like she was missing something.  
  
Outside the okonomiyaki restaurant, Akane smiled at Ryoga.  
  
"Ryoga, I just wanted to say, I think it's sweet how you really kept your love hidden from me. But now that I know. I don't want you to leave. Please stay." She said, her eyes filled with hope. Ryoga was surprised.  
  
"Akane, I just, I mean, I never realized that you would, well, I mean.." Akane smiled.  
  
"Shush, I know what you want to say, but just spit it out." She said.  
  
"Akane, I want you to be my wife." He said. Then he gaped at himself.  
  
"Yes," she said. Then.. he fainted.  
  
An indeterminate amount of time later...  
  
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Ryoga Hibiki, and Akane Tendo." said the priest, Father Random, "If Ryoga Hibiki would ever get here." he added.  
  
"MYYYY DAUGHTER!!!!!" Soun shouted, "IS MARRYING A PIG!!!" Of course, Genma cried the most.  
  
"That's what you get when you pimp your kids for pizza!" Shouted Ukyo, "Jackass." she mumbled under her breath. Akane giggled.  
  
"Ukyo, please try to curb your shoutings, this is my wedding after all." She said. Ukyo blushed. The bridesmaids and groomsmen for this wedding were: Ukyo, Nabiki, Kasumi, and Ranma, Sanzenin, and Kuno. Kuno, of course, was weeping.  
  
"Oh, Akane, lost to me forever." He mumbled. Ranma was frowning, for some reason he didn't understand.  
  
"Oh, well, I know I hate her.. so it's not a problem." He thought. Sanzenin was confused.  
  
"Why am I here, even?" he thought. That was a question only Ryoga knew the answer to. And of course, Ryoga wasn't there yet. Asuza was in the pews, looking very pissy.  
  
"Why is it that Sanzenin was invited, and I wasn't even in the wedding?" she thought angrily. She crossed her arms petulantly, and frowned. At the front, Sanzenin shrugged apologetically. Just then, a freak thunderstorm began outside. Ryoga ran in, just as the downfall really started, thankfully avoiding getting wet.  
  
"Finally!" Akane said, breathing a sigh of relief. He was, thankfully not wet at all. Until..  
  
"RoarRrRrRr!" Genma said, cruising into the door, he had been waiting outside for Ryoga. HE had gotten wet, and, though usually there was enough room for a giant panda in the Tendo Dojo most of the time for some reason, there were just too many people for him to fit gracefully. He squeezed against the wall for a moment, and, while trying to get up a sign that said, "I need to lose some weight.." He knocked over the holy water, and is splashed straight on Ryoga. Of course, he turned into P-chan.  
  
"Squeelll!" P-chan shouted angrily. Asuza, who had been paying no attention whatsoever, heard it and shrieked.  
  
"CHARLOTTE!!!" She said, running up and grabbing P-chan. She ran off into the halls. Akane gasped.  
  
"HEY, THAT'S MY GROOM!" she shouted. Nabiki sweatdropped.  
  
"I told you, you should have married Ranma.." she said. Ranma sweatdropped.  
  
"Geez, this is bad." He said. Ukyo grabbed him by the hand and they went off into the hallways. They found Asuza in Akane's room, trying to jump out the window with P-chan.  
  
"Hey, let him go!" Ukyo shouted. Ranma nodded.  
  
"That's, uh, pet, Akane's pet!" he said, then he giggled. Ryoga gave him an evil look. Asuza clutched him to her chest harder.  
  
"No, Charlotte is mine, Charlotte belongs to Asuza!" she said angrily. Ranma rolled his eyes. He caught her by the arm. She shrieked.  
  
"Ranma, you pervert!" Every student at Furinkan High screeched. Ranma sweatdropped.  
  
"Here, Ranchan, let me get it.." Ukyo said, grabbing P-chan.  
  
"EEWW! Mange a toi!" Every student at Furinkan High screamed. Nabiki frowned.  
  
"That's menage a toi." She said, calmly. The students gave her a disgusted look.  
  
"We meant eating!" they said in unison.  
  
"Sure.." Nabiki said, rolling her eyes. She leaned against the door frame.  
  
"So, Ranma, are you going to beat that poor girl to death, or come to your friend's wedding.." She said, as the Furinkan high students silently filed out to spread rumors. Ranma smiled.  
  
"I'll have to wait, then.." he said falsely brightly. Ukyo noticed the look in his eye. She brought out a teapot and poured it on Ryoga. He sputtered, and coughed, and smiled. Except for now, he was naked, all his beautiful clothes were on the floor, outside. Nabiki's eyes widened, and she smiled.  
  
"I'll just. go get the clothes then." She said smugly. Ryoga blushed, nearly all over. Ukyo was already blushing all over. Ranma averted his eyes, and handed Ryoga a towel. Ukyo ran out of the room, after contemplating beating them all over the head with her spatula, and deciding against it.  
  
After Nabiki had come back with his clothes, and he had put them on, and the wedding was on once again. er, rather, finally. The ceremony went off without a hitch. In fact, all the people in the audience clapped loudly, most especially Shampoo, Kodachi, and Ukyo. They glanced at each other militantly. This wouldn't come to any of them easily.  
  
Later.. At Ucchan's  
  
Ranma sat at a table, staring glumly at the okonomiyaki that had been set in front of him. Ukyo patted him on the shoulder.  
  
"What's up Ranchan?" she asked, concerned. He sighed.  
  
"Nothin, that Kawaiikunai tomboy getting married doesn't bother me at all." He said, utterly unconvincingly. Ukyo smiled, and patted him on the shoulder.  
  
"It's okay, Ranchan, you can tell me.." she said. She sat down. Ranma looked up.  
  
"Well, it's just that." he looked at her, "Hm, you really are a girl.." he said, looking at her low-cut bridesmaid's dress. Ukyo blushed.  
  
"Oh, Ranchan.." she said. They both looked over to Ryoga and Akane dancing together. Ryoga looked so happy. He smiled, and whispered in Akane's ear,  
  
"I love you.." She smiled at him, and nodded.  
  
"Ryoga." she murmured, "I love you too." She said. Ranma watched the newlywed couple dance, and a part of him broke apart. Ukyo watched Ranma.  
  
"Ranma, it's all right." She said comfortingly. Ranma smiled.  
  
"Of course it is!" he shouted, "I'm not jealous or anything.." he said. Ukyo smiled.  
  
"Of course not.. Would you like to dance?" she asked. Ranma nodded. As he swept her out onto the floor, he smiled. Akane looked at him, and then turned back to Ryoga. She had found her prince, she didn't have enough time to wait for Ranma to admit he loved her. That was okay, Ranma knew he deserved it. Ukyo nodded to him, smiling.  
  
"It's all right, isn't it?" she said.  
  
"What?" he said.  
  
"Dancing like this.." she said.  
  
"Yeah," he said, smiling, the old twinkle back in his eye, "A guy could get used to this.." He finished. Ukyo blushed and hit him over the head with a fan.  
  
"Don't say things like that, you jackass. you make me blush." Ranma smiled. The dance floor was like a rejuvenation for his tired heart. Ryoga and Akane looked deep into each other's eyes. And they found what they had always been looking for. Each other. 


End file.
